I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
