yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
