two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
