I accidentally burped into my bong.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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