this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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