So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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