she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
