I hate your face
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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