Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
