So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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