Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
