I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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