my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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