a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
