and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
