Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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