Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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