you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
