I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
