quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
