The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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