I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
