Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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