Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
