she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
