im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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