Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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