I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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