How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When are your genitals available?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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