So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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