So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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