Quick, to the slutcave!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
