also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
