just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
