They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
