You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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