handjob tips. give me some.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
