I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
