It's Friday. Sex?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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