I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
