he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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