a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize