I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
