You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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