I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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