oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
