Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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