i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
