he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
