I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
