I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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