I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
