Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
