I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize