Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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