i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
