they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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