So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
