I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
