Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
