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I'm jealous of your bromance
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
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