Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops