Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'm jealous of your bromance

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(313): I'm jealous of your bromance http://tfl.nu/rtiu

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(214): View more from Texas

Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

(501): View more from Arkansas

3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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(214): Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life (501): 3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/1c46

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(832): and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid http://tfl.nu/8ij1

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.

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(215): Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating. http://tfl.nu/ef4v

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(845): View more from New York

Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.

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(845): Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this. http://tfl.nu/o1x8

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this

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(781): walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this http://tfl.nu/8ri1

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(817): View more from Texas

so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.

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(817): so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring. http://tfl.nu/hdeg

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

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(339): i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet http://tfl.nu/r3gc

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(207): View more from Maine

reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

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(207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw

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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks

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(412): I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks http://tfl.nu/tkbs

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.

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(704): We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms. http://tfl.nu/m17c

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(347): View more from New York

I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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(347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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(970): I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse http://tfl.nu/rdry

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(214): View more from Texas

Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

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(214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird

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