you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao