I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.