If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...