I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
