My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
