hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
