found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
