Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
